Redemption from the Past
by SeriouslySnape
Summary: A former resident from Spinner's End returns to see her family's home only to find the boy who lived two doors down is still there. Life hasn't been kind to either of them and they find comfort from each other. SnapeOC
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hi, all. This story is an exercise I set for myself to try to write a sympathetic Snape without having him be too out of character. We had a glimpse of the man he could have been in Deathly Hallows if we look at him as kid. I hope I do a great character justice.

Redemption from the Past

Prologue:

Return to the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

She pulled up to the curb and put on the emergency brake. She wasn't certain she could remember her way through the labyrinth of cobble stone streets in Spinner's End, but she figured there was just an instinctual drive that always leads you home. Even after twenty years of being absent, she recognized the brick front of the row home that she had grown up with her mother despite the fact that it sat in a long row of ten houses which all looked the same. Biting back a sigh, she got out of the car and approached the door.

The concrete sidewalk was cracked and sunken in spots. The step up onto the stoop had shaky stones where the mortar had disintegrated. She wondered if her key would still work but when she turned the door knob, the entire thing came off in her hand.

"Beautiful," she mumbled. Well, the house was hers now so any damage she did wouldn't matter to any tenant. And with all the work that already had to be done, a broken down door wasn't going to break her. She took a step back and kicked the old wood and felt an immediate jolt of pain shot up her leg as she landed in a heap on the ground. So much for all the scenes in movies where women kick down doors in high heels.

She pushed herself up from the ground but when she tried to put weight on her ankle she almost fell down again. She limped back to the car and sat down on the hood. Pulling out her cell phone, she tried to call her business partner but found there was no cell reception. It didn't look like anyone else lived on the street so she allowed herself the pleasure of releasing a scream of frustration.

* * *

The sound of the car didn't rouse him from his book, however after a few minutes later when a scream echoed down the street, curiosity got the better of him. He went to the front window and carefully moved the curtain back. He had placed wards around the house in case some Death Eaters, who were not totally convinced of his loyalty, decided to pay an unannounced visit and none of them went off. It most likely some lost muggle who had wandered into Spinner's End.

There was a small red car parked in front of the house two doors down from him. A woman was sitting on the hood of the car, dressed in a business suit and rubbing her ankle. Her blonde hair was hiding her face from him but he felt a sudden tug of familiarity. He wasn't sure what had overcome his common sense but he found himself walking down the sidewalk towards her.

"Can I help you?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice and her head snapped up in his direction and he recognized her immediately. Twenty plus years had passed since he last saw her but it didn't matter, she looked as if she hadn't aged at all.

"Leah Wainwright?"

She blinked a couple times and squinted at him before realization hit her. "Severus Snape?" And then she laughed, which took him completely off guard. "It's so good to see you!"

He knew he should return the sentiment but found the words were caught in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time someone was glad to see him. Then again, the last time she had seen him, he was a brash, cocky seventeen year old and she had been the same. She knew nothing of what became of his life. She didn't even know he was wizard, thinking he went to a boarding school when he was at Hogwarts. She didn't know what a mess he had made of everything. He pointed to her ankle. "Are you alright?"

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I, uh, tried kicking the door down but it backfired."

"Most people use a door knob."

She held up a hand with said door knob in it.

"Ah." He crouched down and looked at her ankle. It was swollen which meant either a break or sprain. It would be so easy for him to just use a simple healing charm but explaining all that to her seemed very daunting at the moment. What do the muggles do for something like this? Well, the swelling would have to go down which meant something cold needed to be applied. Ice, she needed ice.

"If you have the time," he offered, "you can come in and I can get you some ice to put on this."

"I don't want to impose."

Impose, what a joke. She was most likely the only person he would see for the next three months. "No, it's no imposition."

She thought about it for a moment and nodded her head. "If you're sure it wouldn't be an interruption."

"No, not at all." He knew he should offer her help but wasn't certain how to do it. Thankfully, he didn't need to as she grabbed a hold of his upper arm to support herself as she hobbled her way two houses up. He had to admit to himself, he wasn't watching her ankle or the pressure she was trying to keep off it. His focus was solely on the long fingers that had boldly took hold of his arm. It had been so many years since someone had touched him with trust behind it. And he relished every minute of it.

* * *

Leah settled herself on the threadbare sofa, her ankle propped up on a rickety table that sat between the sofa and an equally worn looking armchair. Severus had gone into the kitchen, she assumed, to get some ice. The house looked much like she remembered it all those years ago except the books seemed to have doubled and now hid the doors into the kitchen, dining room and staircase that led upstairs.

"Here," he said, coming back into the room and placing a bag of ice wrapped in a towel over her ankle before occupying the armchair. Leah noticed he was sitting towards the edge of the chair, his posture rigid. His sense of being on edge was starting to make her uneasy.

"So," she said, motioning to his black garb, "are you, uh, a priest?"

His mouth quirked up in a half smile. "No, definitely not. I'm a professor, actually."

"At the boarding school you went to?"

"Yes."

"What do you teach?"

He paused briefly before answering. "Chemistry."

"Chemistry? I never would have thought you would be chemistry professor. I would have guessed literature."

"Really? Why?"

Leah pointed to the wall of books that surrounded them. "You were always reading when we were kids. It doesn't look like you've stopped."

"I try to keep up with current trends. What do you do for a living?"

"Well," Leah started, "I went to Cambridge for a business degree and now I have a coffee shop with a laundry underneath of it. We attract mostly college students but we have our regulars as well."

"Where is it located?"

Leah noticed since the conversation had shifted from him, Severus seemed to relax more so she continued talking. "It's called 'Jumpin' Java' and it's located in London. I actually run it with my college roommate, Robin. She takes care of the laundry facility mostly and also she makes the coffee, latte, cappuccino and whatever else people want. And I do the baking."

"It sounds like you're very busy."

"I am. What about you? Are you married?"

"No. You?"

"I was." Leah kept her eyes on the books lining the shelves. "What ever happened to the Evans sisters? I lost track of both of them when I went away. I've wanted to get back in touch with Lily, I always liked her."

Severus fiddled with a loose thread on the arm of the chair. "I don't know about Petunia but Lily was killed fifteen years ago."

Fifteen years ago they were twenty-one. "I'm sorry, Sev. I know you always fancied her. Was it an auto accident?"

"It was an accident."

She had a feeling there was more to it than that but judging from the ravaged look on his face, she decided to leave the subject alone. "How long have you taught?"

"Sixteen years. What brought you back here?"

"My mum passed away a couple months ago and she left the house to me. I don't' know what I'm going to do with it. I was thinking of fixing it up and possibly selling it. But the neighborhood, well, it's not exactly booming is it?"

"Never was, really. I'm only here on summer holidays and that's quite enough time to spend here."

Leah gave a slight laugh and moved the ice off her ankle. The swelling seemed to have gone down so she rotated her foot. There was some slight pain but not too bad. Driving would be iffy but she should be able pull it off.

"Wait a moment," Severus said before leaving the room quickly. He was back before she had time to process the fact that he had left. He had a small unmarked jar in his hand but when he came over to her he didn't seem to know what to do with it. She actually felt a pang of sympathy for him. Even after all these years, the manners his mother had hammered into him still stuck. Leah reached out and took the jar from him.

"Do I just rubbed this on my ankle?"

"Uh, yes."

She nodded and dipped her fingers into the ointment. It had a nice scent to it and a very odd texture. It smoothed over her skin without leaving an oily residue and within a few seconds the pain went out of her ankle. "Wow, this is really great stuff. Where did you get it?"

He took the jar back from her and put the lid back on. "I made it."

"You made it? Yourself?"

He look slightly uncomfortable. "Yes."

"Chemistry really paid off for you. You could sell that stuff and make a fortune."

He gave her a brief half smile and nothing more. In the dimming daylight she was struck with the realization of how worn and weary he looked. It seemed he had lived twice the lifetime she had and she missed the open, overconfident boy she remembered.

"What?" he asked.

Leah gave him a smile. "I missed you."

* * *

Severus watched her leave from the doorway of his home. He had taken a chance using the ointment but it was least obvious magical remedy he had. And it had worked because by the time she left, she was walking like normal. The only thing was, he wasn't feeling normal.

He had spent so many years shrouded in mystery, bitterness and hurt. Leah didn't know that side of him and he was too afraid to show it to her. He didn't need to be a demanding teacher, an ex-Death Eater that was trying to pass himself off as a genuine one or a protector of the living reminder of the greatest loss he had ever suffered. All she remembered was the boy who had dreams and the chance to actually make them come true. And being around her again brought back that feeling of reckless abandonment.

As much as he hated to admit it, he had a surge of relief when she said she would back out tomorrow to go over to her old house. Before he knew what he was doing he had promised to help her clean up the house. Watching the little red car disappear around the corner, another alarming thought came to his mind: he couldn't keep being around Leah in his robes. He had to find some muggle clothes. But as he closed and locked the door, he realized the pay off of actually having another human being around this summer was greater than wearing muggle clothes. Or so he hoped.


	2. When Worlds Collide

Redemption from the Past

Chapter One: When Worlds Collide

_Spinner's End, July 1970_

She was hot, tired and upset. Leah Wainwright was sick to death of moving and her new home was one of the worst she could remember living in. Her mother was still carrying in boxes, humming to herself happily, while Leah had taken up most of the front stoop, sitting and scowling.

"Mom, I want to go home!"

Sarah Wainwright looked up from the trunk of her car and pushed her blonde hair back from her eyes. "Then get up and turn around. You walk through that door and you're home."

"Not this home! Our old home."

"Well," Sarah picked up another box, "we can't go back there, sweetie so you better get used to this. Besides, once all our stuff is in there, it'll look more like home."

"Why can't Dad come with us? He doesn't know where we live. How can he come visit?"

Sarah set the box down and crouched down to her daughter's level. "Leah, listen to me. Dad can't know where we are, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because what he did to us was not right. Me putting up with it is one thing, but I won't let him do it to you."

Leah tugged at the hem of her t-shirt. "He said I did something wrong and had to be punished."

"If you don't hear anything else I say for the rest of my life, hear this: no one has the right to hit you till you're black and blue. No one has that right."

Leah wanted to say that she remembered many times her mother had to hide bruises and wanted to ask her what made it right then? If it hadn't been for whatever she had done they wouldn't have had to move from their nice house to this one and Dad would still be there. But her mum was waiting for an answer so she nodded her head saying that she understood even though she didn't. As she was staring at the ground, two pairs of feet in very worn shoes appeared on the cracked sidewalk. Leah looked up to see the shoes belonged to a grown woman and a boy. The woman smiled slightly but it looked forced, like she didn't smile that often. The boy looked like her, except his expression was anything but forced as he looked extremely disagreeable. Leah took a slight liking to him immediately: he looked how she felt.

"Hi," Sarah said, straightening up. "I'm Sarah Wainwright and this," she placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "is Leah."

The other woman held out her hand as if she expected Sarah to slap it away. "Eileen Prin-," she coughed slightly. "Snape. Eileen Snape and this is Severus."

Leah held out her hand towards the boy. "Hi, Severus." But he looked at her with distain and turned towards his mother with a "do I have to" look. Apparently he did, because he briefly touched her hand before shoving his into his jean pockets.

"We saw you moving in," Eileen was saying, "and wanted to help you."

Leah gave Severus a surprised look and realized he was being forced into this just as much as she was forced to make this move. It was the bond between them, she could feel it in her heart, even if he didn't feel it yet.

_July, 1971_

"That's her, right there."

"The brown haired girl?"

"No, no…the red head."

Leah peered through the bushes at the two sisters on the swings. Severus had brought her up there to show her the girl he had a crush on. She had to admit, at first she felt hurt that he had set his sights on someone else, but she wanted him to be happy. And if the cute little red headed girl made him happy, then that's what she would work towards.

"Well, Sev, why don't you go introduce yourself?"

Color rose to the his pale cheeks. "I can't. I can't do that."

"Why not?"

He held out his arms and she took note of his wardrobe. It was true that his sense of style wasn't very stylish but she had come to know him, not his clothes.

"Once she gets to know you, clothes won't matter."

"They're from the nice part of town. Clothes matter to them."

"But you're really nice and that's what they'll notice." Leah had enough of talking. "Come on, I'm going out there."

"No, wait-"

Leah pulled her arm out of his grasp and stepped out from behind the bushes. She glanced down and Severus looked like a trapped animal. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Leah looked up to see the two girls had stopped swinging and were staring at her. She waved. "Hi."

"Hi," they answered in unison.

Leah looked back down and Severus was wringing his hands and watching the two girls avidly. Leah turned back to the girls. "Sorry, I was just looking for my ball and thought it was up here."

The red headed girl got off her swing. "I'm Lily and this is my sister Petunia. Do you need help looking for it?"

Leah turned around and looked down towards Spinner's End. "Oh no, thank you." She pointed back down to the street. "My mom found it."

"Oh, okay then."

Leah started off back down the hill and when she was halfway to the row of homes where she and Severus lived, he came running up behind her.

"Wow, that was great!" he exclaimed.

"It was nothing. I chickened out."

They had come to the front of his house since it was on the end. He grabbed her and gave her a quick hug. "Thank you."

"For what?"

He stepped back with a huge grin. "I didn't know her name till today."

Leah watched him go inside, all the joy of seeing him happy dissipated quickly. She walked back to her house which was only two away from his and found her mum standing in the doorway.

"It looks like someone just stole your best friend."

Leah tried not cry but she knew she was going to be unsuccessful. "Someone did."

_June, 1976_

Leah had just finished her last day at school and had the entire summer ahead of her. Normally she would be terribly delighted for the summer holidays but ever since Severus went off to that boarding school, it had seemed Leah ceased to exist. She knew that Lily Evans went to the same school and slowly Leah was being replaced. She had her own group of friends, sure, but she missed her childhood friend.

"Leah!"

She looked up to see Severus walking up the sidewalk. They were still a couple streets away from their homes. "What are you doing here, Sev?"

"I was going to meet you over at the school but you had already left."

"Is something wrong with my mom?"

"No, not that I know of. I just wanted to see you."

Leah tripped over her own feet. It had been five and half years since he had "just wanted to see" her. But she wasn't about to tempt fate and drive him off. "So you're done with another year of school, huh?"

"Yeah. Was today your last day?"

"Yes. The whole summer lies before me with not a whole lot to do."

"I was thinking maybe, we could find some things to do this summer."

"You and me?" Leah gave him a skeptical look. "What about you and Lily?"

His face contorted into a grimace. "She, uh, she's found some other friends to hang out with."

Leah tried to stay mad at him but for some reason, the lanky, pallid sixteen year old boy had a chunk of her heart. Sure, there were better looking boys in her class, a couple of them even asked her out, but she liked Sev. "Suddenly, the summer seems so much better to me."

Thoughts of Lily's refusal of his apology rushed through his mind and the pain started afresh. There were so many things he had done that he would love to do over again. Picking out friends would definitely have been one of them. He had gotten himself into a deep mess and he couldn't really find a way to dig himself out. He had hoped that Leah still lived on Spinner's End and she would still want to be his friend. He had been doing a very good job of ignoring her these past few years.

"Suddenly, the summer seems so much better to me."

* * *

Severus felt himself break into a smile and was surprised how it felt so unnatural to him. Leah smiled back him and he realized she was right. The summer did seem better now. She didn't know about his humiliation at the hands of Potter and his mates. She didn't know how he ruined it with Lily. She really was the only one that knew who he was deep down inside, even if he had forgotten. She loped her arm through his.

"It's good to have you back, Sev."

He tried not to choke on the words. "It's good to have you back too." If Lucius or Mulciber found out he was friends with a muggle he could be in serious trouble, especially since Lucius was making arrangements to have him welcomed in the Death Eater ranks by graduation next year. Or worse, they could come after Leah. He would have to be careful this year but also enjoy every minute of it as well.

She had grown up in the last five years into a very pretty girl with sparkling blue eyes and wavy gold colored hair. She was wearing tight fitting jeans and a sleeveless shirt and he realized just how curvy she ended up being. He wondered why he never noticed the girls at Hogwarts but realized the robes they wore never showed anything curvature wise. He wondered what Lily looked like out of her school robes.

"What's the matter?"

He looked down at Leah who had a concerned look on her face. "Why?"

"You looked upset. Everything alright?"

"Yeah," he forced a smile back on his face. "Everything's fine." Except the fact that her hair wasn't red and the eyes looking at him weren't green.

_June, 1978_

Eileen wasn't sure what she was going to do. Severus had just graduated Hogwarts, he was eighteen and of age. She had concerns about his group of friends but he had remained friends with Leah for so long she wondered if he really did buy into the Death Eater school of thought. She secretly hoped he had not. But she still had a dilemma.

Once Severus was out of the house, she no longer wanted to be here. Tobias was drinking more and speaking less. She knew Sarah had run away from an abusive relationship so she knew how it could be done. Once Severus left for his potions apprenticeship, she would go down to have afternoon tea with Sarah and make her plans then.

She could hear Tobias snoring in the front room and was thankful she wouldn't have to put up with any of the yelling tonight. Severus had gone to bed early so she was looking forward to a night of reading. There was a book Severus wanted her to read. Maybe he hadn't gone to sleep yet and she could get the book from him tonight. She headed up the stairs as quietly as possibly and stopped at her son's door. It sounded quiet, no page turning or scratch of a quill on parchment which meant he was probably asleep. In case he was, she opened the door slightly and peeked into the room.

He was asleep, but he wasn't alone. The moonlight was the only light in the room and it light up the pale skin of Severus and Leah. Both were entwined together and that didn't bother her as much as the skull and snake marking on his left arm that was carelessly thrown over his head. Eileen slowly closed the door and went back downstairs.

She sat down at the rickety kitchen table and waited for the sun to rise. She didn't know what to say to him but Leah needed to be protected from the likes of the Death Eaters. They had kept the secret of magic from her and Sarah the entire time the Wainwrights had lived on Spinner's End and she would be damned if teenage hormones were going to ruin that secrecy.

It didn't seem long before the first touches of red and orange touched the sky. When the sun finally made it's appearance, she got up from the table and put the coffee on. She would have done everything in the house by magic but Tobias forbid her to do magic in the house. She really missed it but she was thankful for something to do with her hands at the moment.

She heard Severus' light footfalls come down the stairs. Tobias' snores were still coming from the front room. She didn't even look at her son as he came into the kitchen but spoke softly so her husband wouldn't walk in on the conversation.

"You have to forget her, Severus."

"What?" His voice was still hoarse from sleep. She was going to miss him.

"Leah. You can't drag her into your life now. When you leave Spinner's End, you leave her here."

"She's my friend. I can't just stop talking to and seeing her."

Eileen looked out the small window into the equally small back yard. "Then you should have thought about that before you received the Dark Mark."

He started coughing on whatever he had pulled out the refrigerator to drink. "What-"

"If you love her, leave her be now. The Dark Lord is not forgiving when it comes to muggles." She turned around and fixed her surprised son with a steady gaze. "Why do you think I've lived here for all these years."

"To protect _him_? Come on, Mum."

"He's your father. I can't do anything to save you from the fate you've locked yourself into but I can do something to protect him and Leah. And I will, Severus. If you won't, I will."

"It'll break her heart if I drop off the face of the earth."

"Like I said," Eileen said, walking out of the room, "you should have thought about that before."

* * *

Her mom thought she was upset over Severus leaving and not telling anyone where he was going, but Leah knew it was something more than that. She had thrown up every morning for the last week. After each time she would crawl back into the bed and wrap her arms around her stomach. She didn't know what to do but she knew she couldn't let go of the only thing that Severus had left behind for her. And then, always, she would cry herself to sleep for the rest of the morning. 


	3. Buried Secrets

Author Notes: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm not making any money on this. Also, I used some actual quotes from the books so anything that is written correctly and with talent most likely belongs to JK Rowling. As for my reviewers, thank you so much! You're too kind and I greatly appreciate the reviews! Also, I uped the rating just to be on the safe side...if there's something terribly graphic in a chapter, I'll give you fair warning. ;-)

Redemption from the Past

Chapter Two: Buried Secrets

_March, 1979_

She had found a rundown apartment building in northern Scotland and a job as a waitress in the corner pub. Most of the tenants in the building and the customers of the pub paid no attention to her growing stomach. She had tried to hide it best she could but after seven and a half months, there was nothing more she could do to conceal her pregnancy. Thankfully, everyone was so miserable with the cold, wet weather that they paid her no mind. Except for the woman who lived below her in the dilapidated building.

Leah's water broke in the kitchen of the pub and thankfully she was able to say it was overflow from the sink where dishes were soaking. She helped the bus boy mop it up and waited out her contractions in the broom closet. Once her shift was over, she made her way to her apartment but collapsed on the stairs two floors away from her place. That was when Fiona found her. Apparently, Fiona had heard her crying in the stair well and had been watching her for the last couple weeks, waiting for the birth to happen. In a haze of pain, Leah allowed Fiona to help her up to her apartment and get her settled into bed.

"Why," Leah panted, trying to get herself past another contraction, "why are you helping me? You don't know me."

Fiona tossed her thick, red braid over her shoulder and stuffed pillows behind Leah, forcing her into a sitting position. "I used to be a mid-wife in Ireland."

"Used to be?"

"A child of a wealthy woman was stillborn and she accused me of not doing enough to help her child. She had much power and destroyed my reputation. Trust me," she laid a hand on Leah's stomach, "you both are in good hands."

Considering her choices were to do this on her own or to trust the quiet Irish woman, Leah opted to put her faith in Fiona. She was nineteen, about to give birth and wanted her mother. She told the older woman where the towels, pots and scissors were. She didn't necessarily want to know what everything was for, even if the pain she was feeling was stealing words from her.

Fiona coached her through the tidal waves of contractions, giving her encouragements in her thick Irish brogue. Leah hadn't noticed what time it was when the labor started but by the time dawn was breaking, her child came screaming into the world. Exhausted, she fell back against the pillows, a different type of pain settling into her chest now. She hadn't seen her mother for eight months now and desperately wished that her mother could take part in the joy and accomplishment that just been fulfilled.

Fiona cleaned and bundled the squirming infant before laying her in Leah's arms. "Congratulations," the mid-wife said, "you have a daughter."

Leah barely heard her as she stared down in the curious black eyes that had stopped shedding tears and looked up at her with interest. Despite the shot of pain and anger she felt at how Severus had left without a word nine months ago, there was a sense of calm that permeated the bittersweet feeling. She was holding his daughter, their daughter.

"Have you thought of any names?" Fiona asked, gathering up the bloodied towels and sheets.

Leah wanted a name that resembled Severus' since the child had his dark hair and onyx eyes. But she had never come across a name that she liked until she realized just how calm everything. "Serena. I think I'll call her Serena."

"That's a beautiful name."

Leah looked up at the older woman and reached out with her free hand, clasping the woman's thin wrist. "Thank you. I never would have been able-"

"I know," Fiona patted her hand. "I've missed watching babies come into this world so much. When I saw you entering and leaving the building, I realized why I came here. It was to help you."

"How can I repay you? I don't have much."

"Well," Fiona sat down on the side of the bed, "you'll still have to work and will need someone to watch over Serena. Allowing me to watch your precious little girl will be reward enough. And," she looked good naturedly shy, "dinner every once in while would be nice. I smell your cooking all the time and it's everything I have in me not to come knocking on your door."

Leah leaned her head back against the pillows, too tired to keep it upright anymore. "I think that's a very fair trade."

_March, 1980_

He wouldn't have even been in the Hog's Head if it hadn't been for the metamorphagus prostitute who claimed she could look like anyone he wanted. He was twenty, scared and needed something to do to work off the tension. He was certain if Bellatrix thought he was high strung she would take him out on one of her torture binges on muggles that last for hours into the night. Once was more than enough for him before he had to find ways to cope with his ill made decision. The leering look of the woman in the shadows might provide just that.

The only thing that he constantly carried with him, aside from his wand, were two pictures: one of Lily and one of Leah. No matter how many times he told himself Leah was merely a fill in for Lily, his emotions contradicted him. Lily was completely lost to him now that she had married Potter and last he heard, she was expecting her first child. He refused to refer to it as "their" child. But Leah was still out there, or so he hoped. He had actually spied on their home in Spinner's End, unbeknownst to anyone there. He had seen Sarah exit and enter the house but there was no trace of Leah whatsoever. He hadn't heard of any of the Death Eater's torturing or killing a woman that fit Leah's description so he had hoped she had merely blended in with everyone and would remain untouched. He surprised himself by pulling out the picture of Leah for the prostitute.

"One hour, Hog's Head. Look like her," was what he said to the woman before continuing on his way. He still had to pick up some potion supplies from Dervish and Banges. Once that task was taken care of, he made his way to the Hog's Head. It wasn't much of a pub but it was dark and those who wanted to go unnoticed could. He didn't even ask the bartender what room the woman had gone into, he merely shuffled through drink orders and found the train of thought that concerned the woman and found out what room she went to before he silently went up the stairs to the appropriate door. He stepped through the door and felt his breath leave him. True to her word, she was the mirror image of Leah.

"She's very pretty," she said. "What's her name?"

Severus forced himself to breath. "It's not important."

She shrugged, dropped her robe and sat down on the bed. "I suppose not. Feel free to look all you want, but keep in mind," she winked, "I charge by the hour."

His chest hurt and he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He had memorized every inch of Leah with his hands and eyes, wishing with everything in him that it could have been Lily. Now, he was staring at Leah's doppelganger wanting only Leah herself. He tried to convince himself that this really was Leah but the way she draped herself on the bed, so full of confidence, was nothing like the woman he remember. Leah had been shy, always attempting to cover herself up from his view, as if she wasn't good enough for him. The look in these blue eyes was distant, as if he were merely one in many for that night but the look in Leah's had always made him feel like he was the only one.

He was afraid he was going to start hyperventilating at any moment. Everything came crashing down on him at that moment. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. He didn't want to be with this woman who looked like someone who had loved him but felt nothing for him. He wanted to be a normal man with a normal job and, even though he was the last person to deserve it, a family. He didn't want to be what he had become.

"What's the matter, hun?" She looked down at the flawless skin that covered her curvy body. "Did she had a birthmark somewhere?"

"On her left shoulder blade."

"How big?"

He hadn't even realized he had spoken till she responded to him. He plunged his hand into his robes and pulled out the bag that contained his money. His hands were shaking so hard and he couldn't even think about counting it out so he just tossed it onto the bed next to her. "I can't do this. I'm sorry," he mumbled before slipping right back out the door.

He would have fled from the pub completely but as he passed by one of the doors, he heard someone shout and it caused him to pause. The hallway was deserted at the moment so he took the chance to listen at the door. Pressing his ear against the door he heard what sounded like the harsh, hoarse voice of woman.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord-"

Someone grabbed him from behind and yanked him off his feet. It startled him so much he kicked out his foot to find the floor again only to have it connect with the door, sending the door open with a loud bang. Severus caught sight of a woman wrapped in shawls and large glasses as well as a very surprised Albus Dumbledore.

"I, uh, I went the wrong way," he sputtered, "I went the wrong way up the stairs."

"Like hell you did," the bar keep said, keeping a firm hold on the back of Severus' robes.

"There you are," a woman's voice broke through the pandemonium. "I told you to go right, not left at the top of the stairs."

Severus saw the prostitute, now sporting short brown hair around a pixie like face, coming down the hallway. An immense rush of gratitude went out to her.

The bartender gave Severus a shake. "You know him?"

"Yes, I do. We were suppose to have a romantic meeting but," she shrugged, "the kids won't go to bed for my sister so we'll have to try again next week."

The bartender gave Severus a hard look before releasing him. The door slammed shut once more and the woman looped her arm through Severus', leading him down the stairs and out into the cold, wet night. He waited until they were a safe distance from the Hog's Head before extracting his arm from hers.

"Thank you."

She nodded. "Your welcome. Here. I didn't take any of it out." She handed him his pouch of money back.

He gave her a confused look as he slipped it back into his robes. She smiled sadly.

"I see a lot of men," she started, "who want that one last time with someone they've lost. Every single time, I see them live their fantasy and leave emptier than when they walked through the door. I never understood how they could have that little respect for someone they claimed to love."

Severus hung his head. What had he been thinking? He felt the woman lay her hand on his arm and he turned to look at her.

"You truly loved her. You didn't carry through because you had too much respect for her. I could see it on your face. Did she die?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I hope you two find each other again."

"That's not very likely."

"Listen, sometimes the most unlikely things happen. The key is to survive long enough until it happens."

"Survive?"

She smiled wisely. "That's right, sweetie. Survive."

He watched her blend back into the shadows and stood there thinking about what she said to him. Survive. That was the only way he could ever find out what happened to Leah. Or possibly he could outlive James, giving him a second chance with Lily…either way, he would have survive to see the end of this. He replayed what he overhead at the Hog's Head and realized the woman must have given a prophecy, an authentic one from the sounds of it. He could not tell the Dark Lord and allow this child to grow up and finally defeat him, ending this reign of terror. But what would happen to him if the Dark Lord found out he knew of this prophecy and failed to report it back to him?

But what if he was the one to report the prophecy to the Dark Lord? That would surely raise him through the ranks, wouldn't it? If the prophecy turned out to be authentic and the Dark Lord was able to act on his word, he would be the most revered out of all the Death Eaters. That was really his only way to ensure his survival.

_October, 1981_

"I want my mom!" It seemed like such a childish thing to say but it was the only thing that mattered to her right now. Fiona put an arm around Leah and squeezed her.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

Leah was inconsolable though. "I don't know what I did. What did I do, Fiona?"

"Nothing, sweetheart. You did everything you were suppose to do."

Leah sank down into a chair at the Edinburgh Accident Department. Serena had been fussy all evening since Leah had gotten home. By the time she had put her in her crib, Serena had a fever. An unknown type of fear settled in Leah's stomach and she immediately went down to Fiona's apartment to ask for help. The Irish woman had applied cold compresses but the fever only increased. It was then that they took a long cab ride to Edinburg, taking most of their weekly paychecks. The nurses had taken Serena from her and hadn't been out in the last two hours. Leah was beside herself.

"Leah?" Fiona asked quietly.

"What?"

The older woman pointed to the doors leading into the Accident Department. Leah looked up and couldn't believe her eyes. Her mom was scanning the room with wide, scared eyes. She jumped up from her seat and ran over to her mother, throwing her arms around her. The two women clung to each other, one in relief, one in desperation. Finally, Leah pulled back and swiped at her eyes.

"How did you know I was here?"

Sarah kept a hand on her daughter's arm, as if she might disappear once again. "A woman named Fiona called me. She said you would be here, in the hospital."

"How…" Leah turned around to see Fiona walking towards them.

"I found your mother's phone number a few months ago. I wasn't certain what happened between the two of you but I knew she would want to be here now."

"What's going on, Leah?" Sarah looked over at her daughter. "Are you hurt?"

Leah shook her head. "No, no it's not me. It's Serena."

"Who's Serena?"

Leah took a great shuddering breath. "She's my d-daughter."

A knowing look came over Sarah's face and she pulled Leah back into her arms. "That's why you left. Leah, why?"

"I didn't want anyone to take her from me."

"Ms. Wainright?"

Leah spun around to see a doctor looking for her. She walked over to the doctor, aware that her mother was behind her. All she heard that made sense to her was "I'm sorry, she didn't make it." She reached around her and grabbed onto her mother's arm.

"Mom, I don't…what…" then her knees gave out and she fell to the polished floor. "I can't lose her. She's all I have."

"Leah, I-."

"No," Leah shook her head, burying it into her mother's shoulder. "No. She's all I have left of him." She thought that when Severus left, nothing could ever hurt that much. She didn't realize she had been so terribly wrong.

* * *

"You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

_No, old man, _he thought to himself, _this is pain. Too much pain…I can't even breathe. Lily…there was no way now I can prove myself to her…win her back. _"I wish…I wish I were dead."

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Was it? Was anything clear right now? The only thing that was clear to him was that the amount of pain in this world far outweighed the happiness. What to do now…he had plenty of potions in his stocks, some would allow him to die peacefully, others would draw it out, making it excruciating. Perhaps he would go that way, surely nothing could hurt worse than this.

_Survive._

The words of the woman, who he never found out her real name, came back to him. Survive. Keep going to see an unlikely thing suddenly become likely. Perhaps there was a way not to lose Lily forever. It didn't distinguish the pain but it made it just bearable. "What-what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."


End file.
